Have you ever had that feeling that
something was wrong? That someone wasn’t quite telling the truth? How far would you
go to expose a vicious pack of lies?
The Time Waster Letters meets Dave Gorman – the
heart-warming true story of nonsense meeting fact.
In 2003 Matt attended an
exhibition at the Natural History Museum, London. An exhibition that asked a question. A
killer of a question. In fact that’s what it was called. Tyrannosaurus rex: the Killer Question. Dr. Jack
Horner had stood up to be counted, the bearded face of a controversial new theory that was
gaining quite a following.Branded
palaeontology’s Jesus by some, Jack thought T.
rex was 100% scavenger – a ne’er-do-well, the Cretaceous ‘urban
fox’. The Natural History Museum’s exhibition would settle the debate once and
for all, with attendees being given a vote, and a choice of three ballot boxes. One for
predator, one for scavenger and a third ‘batted for both’. Despite usually
avoiding counter arguments (i.e. by accepting his cut meats ‘just under’ from
the deli) as Matt wandered round the exhibition he was struck by an idea. An idea that the
limited choice wouldn’t allow him to share. He didn’t cast his vote on site.
Instead Matt left the exhibition with the ‘Killer Question’ preying on his mind.
At least he thinks it was preying, it may have been scavenging – the two things were
becoming quite a blur.
You see, as Matt wandered round
he ‘struck gold’. Matt realised T. rex
was, in fact, a pack hunter! And those packs were known as Hammonds. He was faced with an
unspent vote, a ground-breaking theory and a duty not to mislead the esteemed Natural
History Museum. You’ve probably been in a similar predicament yourself.There is, of course, only one course of action to
take. You found a science foundation, award yourself an honorary doctorate in recognition
of your work to date, and pen a letter to the Natural History Museum:
“After considerable contemplation, and several sleepless nights, I feel
I can assert, with conviction that Tyrannosaurus rex was, in fact, a pack hunter.”
– Dr. Matt Brierley, Hawkshead Science Foundation
The Natural History Museum
wrote back:
“I am pleased to learn that you found the exhibition sufficiently
thought provoking that it has given you cause to contemplate the life style of
Tyrannosaurus rex, although I am sorry to learn that it has caused you several sleepless
nights.... There is hard evidence from fossil remains that small meat eaters were pack
hunters. There is no such evidence for T. rex.”
With a heavy heart,
disappointed that his Hammond hypothesis wasn’t credible, Matt eventually brushed
himself down and moved on. And that would have been the end of things had Matt not
stumbled upon an incredible find four metres below sea level in Holland. Not many people
know Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, lies four metres below sea level, but Matt was there
now, reading and re-reading the words of a Dinosaur Special ‘Scientific
American’ over and over again: Mounting
evidence indicates tyrannosaurs were not loners, but moved in groups.
Lacking any scientific
credibility, but determined to get his fact back, Matt’s seemingly nonsensical
approach begins to reap remarkable rewards. But will Bill Oddie say yes to being the
Hawkshead Science Foundation’s beard? How does Matt persuade the curator of a Danish
museum to protest an exhibition he’s commissioned? How will the Italian hosts of
‘T. rex: the Killer Question’ react to
a banner decorated in tomato puree? And why does Sir Patrick Moore embrace the Hammond
hypothesis over a cuppa so readily?
Yet as Matt’s unorthodox
approach sees people signing up to his theory in their droves, he unwittingly discovers a
trail of dino-deceit. The 5,791 people that voted for 100% scavenger at the Natural
History Museum were duped! And so begins Matt’s noble quest – to redress
dino-karma, to right the wrong, to fight the good fight. To see T. rex crowned the Cretaceous socialite. He flies
to Dinosaur, Colorado, to meet the mayor. She pledges the support of her town. But Matt is
still way short of his target. He needs to spread the word. And the word is Hammond.
There’s only one place to go. Edinburgh 2009.
There
is no need to Book Tickets for Free Festival shows - just turn up 15 minutes before the
performances. Please contact the venue for assitance with disability acces
